base of a trees showing gnarled roots covered in leaves as a metaphor for the complicated act of arranging a threesome

on complicated threesomes

I don’t really don’t do uncomplicated relationships.

I say that like it’s a choice. It just tends to work out that way. It probably has a little something to do with how I’m not looking for a box-checking monogamous partnership and a lot to do with how easily I bore.

An uncomplicated relationship would be far too easy, too… convenient. And as some of you know I have a bit of a challenge kink, both in real life and in my fiction. I like when there’s an element of competition and/or scandal. I like the delicious discomfort and built-in tension of something I’m not supposed to be doing, having to keep it secret, or having to win in order to get what I want.

I have many complications at any given time that I could go into at length (heh). But one of my current complications is proving particularly difficult to dig into…

This is in part because I can’t pinpoint the root complication. It’s more like it’s a whole a bundle of roots at the foot of a whole complication tree — crucial to both the survival and the staggering beauty of the entity they feed, but still a damn mess.

The problem here is that I want to have a threesome. With two men. Who are at least open to the possibility of playing with each other as much as they are to spoiling me. Because I want to domme them into anything they’re comfortable doing with each other in front of me whenever they’re not sandwiching me into sexual oblivion.

This is a complicated thing to get right.

And every time I make a little progress, I find (or perhaps create) a new hurdle for myself.

Progress: I have two points of this devil’s triangle!

Problem: I’m lacking my third.

Progress: I have found a fantasy prospect in one of my current lovers!

Problem: I have NO idea where he’s at in terms of kink exploration because it’s not really been a point of conversation for us thus far. (We’ve been busy, uh… not talking so much.)

Progress: He is a fantastic, generous, and versatile lover with a wide variety of rhythms and speeds!

Problem: I don’t know if that interest and enthusiasm translate to other men.

Progress: All of this can be address through open and honest communication!

Problem: I have no fucking idea how to start this conversation.

So just use your words then to… uncomplicate things… Right?

Right. Of course, that’s the answer. But… *grumbling excuses*

It’s easy enough to talk about the general steps of talking to your partner about stuff. There are a bajillion blog posts out there outlining just that. Whatever topic it might be — you name it, it’s just a google away!

But that doesn’t make it any easier to put the principles into practice. Because like a lot of us out there, that nasty fear of failure lives in all aspects of me, including the relationships in which I’ve already been accepted exactly as I am, quirks and sex-related job and all. (He knows what I do for a living. If he knows about this blog, he’s kept quiet on the matter. With any luck, he’s lurking around in secret, reading this right now, and will start the conversation for me. Buck passed and problem solved!)

On one hand, we can argue that I have nothing to lose. If I scare this person away with attempts to deepen the discussion of our sex as two people who do it together, and as individuals, then how rich could our relationship get, really?

On the other hand, not every sexual relationship needs to be the deepest, most explorative connection. A fun, consensual play pal is more than enough if that’s what everyone wants and enjoys. And I’ve really enjoyed the fun I’ve been having with this one for the few times we’ve, ahem, aligned.

But I’m very greedy. I want more…

And flirting with the mere possibility of getting what I want has me fixated on (and anxiously over-thinking) the way I should approach this whole situation.

If you need me, I guess I’ll be in my mystical garden untangling complicated treesome root systems in the name of double penetration and boys kissing boys.

Prompt #374: Complicated

11 thoughts on “on complicated threesomes

  1. I wish I had some advice for you on how to approach this, but I don’t. All I can do is to wish you luck, and hope you manage to make this work for you (and them) 🙂

    Rebel xox

  2. I completely understand the overthinks. I’m still great at that, but you know, sometimes just asking the question/s is the best thing you can do.

    1. The overthinks are such a drag! But setting a trap for a surprise/forced bi threesome isn’t something I’d ever consider in the real world, so I guess it has to start with the words somewhere.

  3. I feel like I want to write, communication is the key but as you said, you know that and it is not really helpful at all. I wonder if maybe writing your fantasy as a story and sharing it with him. You could tell him it is something you wrote ‘for work’ and felt like sharing. If he comes back with, that was fucking hot, then at least you know it ticks his sex boxes

    Mollyx

    1. Thank you, yes – this is a really good idea and one I have loosely contemplated. Especially since I do have one or two stories that fit this bill perfectly…

  4. I also enjoy the unconventional and “the forbidden,” but my interests manifest in much different ways. Great post and good luck with this. I hope you make that wonderfully dirty fantasy a reality! 😉

  5. As someone who often gives the “you have to communicate” advice, it’s ALWAYS easier said than done. I think sometimes it’s said as a way to wave away the very real concerns, fears, and issues people have and that’s not helpful, either. But I also find that sometimes things are MUCH worse in our minds (especially those of us with active imaginations — ahem) than they will be in reality. So there’s that, too. Either way, hopefully he’s lurking in your blog and this has done the trick — a very real tactic I use with JB, lol.

What do you think of that?

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