I’ve been thinking a lot about cycles. Where I’m at in mine, how they’re changing, how I’m influencing them, and how I can play with rather than against them to optimize my wellbeing.
I’m at the tail end of my ovulation period, so I’m mad with a need to be near a certain person or two but the pandemic is still rampant. So I’m just engaging in unbridled snacking and will challenge my vibrator to a duel to the death later.
At any rate, it’s fitting that this contemplation should land on the night of the full moon.
Full Moon Energy
Full moons signal the completion of a cycle; an ending to yield the beginning of another. It invites us to evaluate where we’ve been and where we’re going, and to release anything that won’t serve us on that journey or hold us back to tapping into our fullest potential.
April’s full moon is pink, really drive that cyclical renewal energy home. Pink is a colour of newness and awakening, like the lotus blossom telling of rebirth and enlightenment. With spring upon us and the earth waking up after a long winter, things are coming back to life on the literal and metaphorical planes. The seeds that we planted last fall and through the winter might now be starting to break through the surface. Meanwhile, others might have died in their winter’s sleep while others still might roll over for a few more winks before they’re ready to face the light.
They all have their own cycles that demand respect
The moon invokes a feminine vibe. And with the sun is in Aries right now, this soft pink femme moon sitting opposite all that headstrong masc energy, a sort of balance is being struck for us. Not that that means we’re feeling balanced. There’s a lot of imbalance in the air throwing off-kilter at the moment…
With this moon tonight is in Libra, it calls to mind our need to find that balance all the same, leaving a lot of us feeling like the spiritual equivalent of a pushmi-pullyu. Because it’s also highlighting our realms of relationships, which is interesting timing, given this forced separation many of us our enduring right now. The current global circumstances have made space for contemplation; appreciation and lamentation over who we can and can’t be with.
The full moon may give us the space to think about all these things, but it also magnifies all the big feels BIG time. I wish I had it in me right now to talk about full moons with regards to sex but I just… can’t. Not right now…
That lunacy horn sure hit different when you’ve been locked up in isolation for the better part of a month, amirite?
I could write an entire novel about every one of the relationships I’ve thought too long and hard on over this past month… But I’m not ready to do that and I’m frankly a little out of sorts with regards to my sexual energy. Something I intend to meditate and masturbate further on after this post.
But I can only fixate so long on my interpersonal relationships that at varying degrees of hiatus by lack of proxy, so I’ve been counterbalancing it by cultivating my relationship with greater forces.
My tarot deck has been fingered a whole lot more than I have been these past few weeks, that’s for sure.
And there’s one card in particular that keeps making itself known to me time and again.
The Six of Swords
The six of swords marks a state of transition. It suggests that we’ve moved past a breakdown period; the possibly calamitous death of the cycle. And in the wake of that chaos, we’ve had to leave the familiar shores behind and venture out into the unknown.
It acknowledges the mourning over what was lost and provides a reminder to keep your chin up and eyes ahead. We may be weary, but we will grow even more exhausted if we fight against the flow of nature. We have to find the energy to move forward, to traverse this dark river of change to whatever is on the horizon — even if we can’t yet see the light there — and swimming against the current will do nothing but bring us closer to expiration.
We have to trust that the horizon is before us. Because of course it is. As my very wise friend and spiritual mama Dr. J. said to me recently:
“…you’re in the middle of the ocean and can’t see the shore. It is there. Believe in the connection. Be kind to yourself. This too shall pass.” – Dr. J.
We are in the midst of the transitory journey and so, in the spirit of the full moon, this is also an invitation to let go of any of the heavy baggage holding us down. Drop it overboard, lighten that load to bring balance to this ride through uncertainty. The vessel will move more swiftly to the next port.
We won’t be the same person we were when we had to leave the last shore behind anyways. We have to shed what doesn’t fit anymore. Trying to force it to remain will just end with a flakey mess.
This is what resonates with me as I sit alone by the light of the full moon tonight.
This moon marks the end of a major cycle and allows us to celebrate a moment of quiet after the upheaval, while the Six of Swords reminds me that metamorphosis is incumbent upon endings.
The transition from one to the other is not always smooth, but it is always crucial. It’s up to me to release fear and choose acceptance of that change, to take solace in knowing that the universe is moving forward and us are floating along with it.
So tonight, I embrace the uncertainty as we venture through this rebirthing channel and hope to sprout through on the other side an even brighter flower than before.
I have to. Because there is still much work to be done. One step at a time though… We don’t have to do everything at once. We just have to keep moving forward.
For now, I’m doing what I can to not begrudge this ride to the next port (and hope to the gods that I don’t have any Odyssean hiccups along the way…).
I’m wishing you well on your own journeys and look forward to reuniting with you on brighter shores.
Full Moon Cleansing Mantra:
I release that which does now serve me or my purpose. I do not fear letting let them go. In their stead, I receive love, abundance, and ease.
And so it is…